Monday, January 26, 2015

So What Now?

Remember way back in 2011 when the NBA was having a lock-out and Dwight Howard made an offhand comment about curling and cockfighting? Neither does anyone else, except for me.

Never one to let an idea die, I've decided to make it a thing. You can now join the Cockfighting and Curling Club! So, what is it?

First, a little more history. My first bonspiel outside the West was at Wauwatosa Curling Club. Great group of folks, but one thing that always stuck out was that a bunch of curlers had name tags with sassy, suggestive names like Heywood Jablome and Seymore Gash. It was the Shady Thicket Curling Club, a paper club based on one of my favorite SNL sketches.

They would used this group as a way to help out the 'Tosa club. That year they came together and bought a new nipper for the ice crew. I've always thought this was a great, fun idea that I wanted to replicate. North Hollywood, the origin of the name of this blog, is in the heart of the San Fernando Valley, famous for porn. I figured our pseudonyms could be our porn names using the classic formula, first pet + street you grew up on (Say hi to "Kitty Patrick"). I was just waiting for the time to be right.

The time is now, as California is on the verge of dedicated ice. The San Francisco Bay Area Curling Club is making great strides in their fundraising effort and are on track to get their ice. Granted, it's not Los Angeles, but it's only a short Southwest or Virgin flight or cheap Megabus or Greyhoud ride or road trip up. Point is, dedicated ice in California is a good thing for us all.

So here's the deal. If our paper club raises enough money for the SFBACC campaign, we can host a bonspiel up there when the facility opens. If they cancel the lease and don't open, we'll figure out something else to do. Either way, it will be a good time.

Here's what you get:

- Custom CF&CC name tag with any name you choose
- Guaranteed single entry into the bonspiel
- All the Jeppson's Malort you can drink at the spiel
- Comfort of being part of a group
- Whatever else we make up along the way

In the past I've said there are no rules, but I guess the only rule is "Don't be a dick."

Membership will get you into the spiel, probably next year, I'm guessing. Though, next year around this time we'll probably do another membership drive for a new cause.

Hopefully this will become a perpetual thing. If not, it can be a pretty good one off.

Click through to Cockfighting and Curling for more information and to join. Leave a comment, email, Tweet, whatever, with any questions.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Olympic Curling Preview - Men

I posted my predictions for the women earlier, and I’m just getting my men’s picks in under the wire. The biggest question left after all my research?

One think we can all agree on, is this will be one sexy Olympic bonspiel. Anyway, on to the predictions.

Olympic Curling Preview - Women

The Olympic curling event kicks off tomorrow in Sochi. Lots of good teams are there ready to battle it out for some hardware, it’s almost impossible to predict how it might turn out. But I’m going to try anyway.

Let’s start with the women’s field. (Men are here) We’ll just start at the bottom and work our way to the top:

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Vernon Davis Is At It Again

Honorary USA Curling captain Vernon Davis is back promoting curling. This time, on the revamped Arsenio Hall show, complete with a Hollywood Curling stone.

Sure he gets some of the details wrong, but he's just an enthusiast, not a journalist. How about Esquire saying" In curling, the sweeping is to melt the ice, which controls the speed. The stones are made of granite and weigh just shy of 45 lbs." Or how about Bleacher Report copying and pasting from a 2010 preview:
There are some powerful personalities on the women’s side including Annette Norberg, captain of the two-time defending Swedish team. That same team won the gold in 2006 so they have become the ones to watch out for. Canada’s Cheryl Bernard hopes to have something say about that as the chief challenger to Sweden for the gold.
This year, the USA women will be led by 47-year-old Erika Brown who captains a team of veterans all of whom have appeared in at least one Olympics. 
For the record, Erika Brown is NOT 47 years old. She was 15 when she competed in Calgary in 1988.

Like Team USA? A 49er fan? Maybe you might be interested in one of these bad boys.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Foxy Brown: Behind The Music

Last year at Hollywood Curling, we struck a chord with our Summer Blockbuster Bonspiel movie parody posters. They're part of the reason I won that trip to Fargo! So, with the Olympics coming up I thought I'd kick it off with one for our women's Olympic team skipped by Erika Brown. 

Of course this is in reference to the parody video I helped them with, What The Skip Say?

At 28k views, it's easily the most watch video I've ever made. It was featured on the New York Daily News, Mashable, and NBC Sports sites among other internet outlets. It's been heralded as "terrible," "cringeworthy," and "poorly executed" by anonymous YouTube users. Here's how it came about.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Continental Cup Does Vegas

Since I couldn't be bothered to attend the Continental Cup, I sent Adam for another dispatch.

It took me a few days to write this post because.... well let's just say that five days in Las Vegas is too many days to spend there. Say what you will about Vegas--the air quality inside the casinos, the overpriced and often mediocre cocktails, waiting in line for an hour for a cab because the Adult Video Awards just let out--it has its an energy all its own. I attended the inaugural Sin Sity Spiel in Las Vegas, but the ice was far enough off the strip that it didn't feel particularly more debauched than your average bonspiel.

Monday, December 30, 2013

#FANDango in Fargo: The Finale

Jesus Christ this is taking forever. Figure it'd be better to get this finished before the new year. In case you missed the previous parts in the series, you can check them out here. So let's just dive in, shall we?